Ode to Comfort & Misery…

Sitting here in my apartment, Feeling like a hobo, Because I haven’t bathed, In anything but despair, Which metaphorically stinks. Physically I only sorta stink. My hair isn’t looking pretty, And I waxed my moustache and got a little pimple above my lip that looks like a herpe. I don’t have herpes. It only looks … Continue reading Ode to Comfort & Misery…

She Choked on a Bag of Dicks…

Imagine a woman died, and the only surviving relative really hated her and so had the headstone engraved with "She Choked on a Bag of Dicks." I bet that's happened before - maybe not exactly with the phrase "bag of dicks," but still (you have to pay by the letter, I think, so it'd be more cost-effective … Continue reading She Choked on a Bag of Dicks…