Tag: morbid humour

She Choked on a Bag of Dicks…

Imagine a woman died, and the only surviving relative really hated her and so had the headstone engraved with “She Choked on a Bag of Dicks.”

I bet that’s happened before – maybe not exactly with the phrase “bag of dicks,” but still (you have to pay by the letter, I think, so it’d be more cost-effective to be terse with the insults). I’m sure someone somewhere has had their headstone purposely engraved with something they wouldn’t have liked. It happened to Frank “Grimey” Grimes on The Simpsons… It could happen to you!

I remember reading about a young lady who suffered from depression and had committed suicide. I won’t mention her name for two reasons; the first is that I don’t remember it. The second is that in her suicide note, her dying wish was that her mother not tell anyone what happened.

Her mother respected her daughter’s final wish by posting her face, details about her mental state, and exactly what had happened, including the suicide note, begging her mother not to blab, all over Facebook.

What really shocked me is that not one person pointed out this betrayal in the comments. Everyone was all like, “you’re so brave to share your daughter’s story,” I mean sure, the commenters didn’t benefit directly from it, they were just there for the entertainment value, like people slowing down to view the carnage of a car wreck, but still. Not one comment was even close to being along the lines of, “I was just about to kill myself when I read this and now I think I’m saved. I can feel my depression lifting. Thanks for posting this, my life has been saved here.” I didn’t comment at the time, because I was, frankly, too baffled to even know what to say. I can see why the kid was depressed. Mother probably didn’t respect or listen to the kid too much when she was alive either.

The mother’s post went viral, she got many kudos and likes, so that was probably some consolation for her. I mean, I would hope so now that she has to live with herself, knowing that she sold out her kid for them. There are about a million ways she could have brought awareness to the issue of depression without disrespecting her daughter’s final wish. A Facebook post is unoriginal and almost exactly what the daughter asked her oversharing mother NOT to do. I’m pretty open about my life, to the point of TMI sometimes, but if I’m asked to keep something in confidence, it’s something that goes to the grave with me. If I could bag of dicks that mother’s headstone, I would. But she’s the only one I can think of who I’d do that to and since we’re not related and I don’t care enough about her to find out who she is, I guess the bag of dicks thing will probably never happen… Unless someone does it to me, that is.